I’m currently watching AMC and there is a movie on called Piñata: Survivor Island and it is AMAZING. Supposably piñatas contain demons and not candy, and hahahaah omg the graphics are so shitty and Jaime Pressley is in it as well as that dude from Buffy. They’re all in jogging gear and the piñata is totally a Balrog wannabe or something. In a scene that just happened this chick had to pee and ran to the side of the trail, and I’m just thinking “bitch if you have a Balrog-piñata coming after you just pee in the middle of the trail.” Everyone knows that’s when the monsters attack, and of course it did and ate her friend. I can’t figure out why she’s so twitchy. Oh wait she’s getting eaten. Such bad acting. There’s a lot of running in this movie but I can’t figure out where they’re running to. It seems like they’re just going in circles. Lol when you see the piñata-vision it’s red with a triangle in the middle. Oh shit it flies! Run Jaime Pressley run! You are wearing sweatpants instead of shorts which means that even with that half-shirt you’re the least slutty one who will survive! There are a lot of gratuitous shots of her ass while she runs. Wow, they should not have used cgi. Ohhh I think they needed to get it into a certain spot to make it swirl around. hahahaha it has a little demon babyface.
Okay it’s not dead yet, moving around again and WOAH it suddenly turned dark outside. Back to red triangle vision. For not being able to see very well it finds these joggers pretty quickly. Wait the babyface is gone. Maybe it’s evolving? They’re doing something with tents and rocks now, I don’t understand. Oh I think they’re making some sort of demon-killing circle. Good thing Xander is here, he has experience in this sort of thing. Commercial. I can’t watch anymore, it’s not funny without twitchy bush pee-girl.
Tags: AMC, bad horror movies, Buffy, Demon Island, Jaime Pressley, Nicholas Brendan, Piñata: Survival Island, Xander
