Archive for the ‘ew’ Category

Can’t Get Away

January 30, 2010

Today at work our specials were “Jersey Shore” themed. I then came home and checked my referrers, which lists what page people were on before they visited this blog. I saw that someone was looking at pictures of “JWow” on facebook then came here.

Ugh.

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This is why I kinda hate red meat.

September 16, 2009

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I have to admit, the bacon diaper is clever.

Source

Haters Make Me Famous

August 12, 2009

Today I got an email notifying me of a comment on my Luna Lovegood Pics post. It was from a chick who not only felt compelled to tell me that my Spectrespecs “too large” and “messy”, but she also took the time to post a youtube video of her Luna Lovegood lion’s hat.

I’ll give her credit, it’s very nicely made. However, I refuse to take her criticisms because first of all, I spent maybe 30-45 minutes making those Spectrespecs, and second, she is a high schooler from La Junta, Colorado who is pretty much the weirdest thing I have ever seen:

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You see, unlike dorky high school kids who try to be elite when it comes to enjoying Harry Potter, I just want to have fun. And when you criticize me for something I wasn’t even taking seriously, it ticks me off. And then I find out everything about you, including the fact that not only are you weird, but you’re also friends with these people:

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I may be a huge Harry Potter fan, but I not on this creepoid level. I bet you all write fan fiction and slash together and then wonder why no one likes you. Oh wait, I’m right. Here’s a quote from Cassidy’s youtube profile:

 “I would best describe myself as Luna Lovegood I am truly unique and keep to myself the majority of the time, mainly because nearly everyone in my small,narrow-minded town thinks I am completly insane.”

You know what, if everyone in your town thinks you’re insane, it’s probably because you are. From my little experience with you I’ve learned that you’re an elitist snob who spends way too much time bragging about a stupid costume she made to people she doesn’t even know on the internet. I bet you also want to be a furry. It’s only one step away from what you’re doing now.

On a side note, Cassidy doesn’t know how to spell. Her screen name on youtube and myspace is “yournotgoingmad”. Your not going mad. YOU’RE. You ARE not going mad. YOU’RE. Have fun with that stupid screen name on everything you own.

And Cassidy..don’t get too butthurt over this post. Just remember….

Nerd Alert: A Letter to Tara Parker-Pope of NYTimes.com

July 28, 2009

Dear Ms. Parker-Pope,

While browsing nytimes.com I came across your article “Harry Potter and the Pint of Liquid Courage”, and with such an interesting title I couldn’t help but read. However, instead of feeling like I learned something, I found myself once again laughing at the ignorance and utter lack of cultural exposure in Americans.

In your description of the new HP movie, it seems like the whole thing takes place in a bar, with Hogwarts students running wild like it’s spring break in Cancun. You wrote, “In scene after scene, the young wizards and their adult professors are seen sipping, gulping and pouring various forms of alcohol to calm their nerves, fortify their courage or comfort their sorrows.” What you failed to emphasize was that out of the two hours and fifty-five minutes of the movie, there was probably a total of five minutes of footage displaying alcohol, and the only people who were visibly drunk were adults, and legally allowed to get as drunk as they wanted to.

Don’t get me wrong- we don’t want to encourage little kids to do body shots and beer bongs- but you have made a mountain out of a mole hill. The scenes you have described are grossly exaggerated, and in pointing them out you have made them much more important to the plot than, well, the actual plot.

Let’s take a look at what you have a problem with, and why my intelligence and nerd knowledge proves you wrong.
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Noooo! Billy Mays is dead too!

June 28, 2009

Billy Mays, best known for being the man to promote Oxiclean and other household products, was found dead in his home this morning.

He had been on a flight from Philadelphia to Tampa that landed roughly, and after leaving the plane told paparazzi objects had fallen on his head. However, there have been no reports connecting the two incidents as none of the passengers suffered serious injuries. His wife found him unresponsive in their Florida home this morning, and doctors say he must have died sometime in the night. The family won’t be releasing any press statements over the next couple of days, so it may be a little while before we find out what got him.

billy mays

As an insomniac, I feel the pain of this death. There have been many a late-night hour I was entertained by his infomercials. After Billy Mays late-night advertising changed and became much more entertaining and interesting, and actually convinced me that hey, maybe I should order some of these products. May he rest in peace.

x-posted to McJAWN

Riots in Tehran After Election Results Announced, 50-100 Reported Dead

June 13, 2009

“After this announcement the people of Tehran took to the streets, only to find blockades already set up and the “moral” private police ready to fight. These cement blockades require heavy machinery and trained drivers in order to set up, which suggests a plan that has been in action for weeks. Thousands are on the streets, some throwing stones at police and police responding by beating them with batons. Fifty to one hundred are already reported dead, and the opposing candidate Mir Hossein Mousavi has been put under house arrest.”

Riots in Tehran After Election Results Announced, 50-100 Reported Dead

Creepy Baby gifs

April 19, 2009

They were in an email my grandma sent me a couple years ago.

The Girl Next Door=lame

March 22, 2009

I’m sitting at home hanging with my roomie and bffl Sally, and The Girl Next Door Comes on tv.  I know that when it first came out there was so much hype, but I never really liked it.  Guys LOVE this movie.  If it’s mentioned you will hear nothing but good commentary, even though the main chick is a butterface, the lead guy is totally lame, and there’s maybe three actually funny scenes.  These things don’t usually make for a movie people love, yet this one has done well.  Why?

The Girl Next Door is a chickflick for dudes.

Don’t believe me?  Here are some scenes you’d typically find in a movie like The Notebook, not a movie about a dude hooking up with a porn star:

  • first kiss happens at a party they weren’t even invited to, and popular guy is rejected for the lead guy who is also lame
  • countless shots of the lead guy and girl staring at each other in slow motion
  • the lead guy and his dorky friends are in the car with the punk-looking porn producer, and the popular jocks drive by in their pickup truck and stare them down, all in slow motion (of course).  This is the equivalent of the popular girls staring down the lead chick and her lame friends as they pass each other in the hallway.

These are only a few examples, but if you watch it you’re bound to find more.  The thing that blows my mind about this is how much guys knock chickflicks, even the ones that have really greating writing and acting (Clueless, Mean Girls, etc).  Chickflicks for dudes are way worse, mainly because they are trying so hard to deny what they actually are and end up looking even worse.  Look at A Walk To Remember.  So bad, yet dudes love it.  Why?  I don’t think I could ever answer that.